Ghosting, characterized by sudden disappearance without explanation, is a common phenomenon in the professional environment. As an experienced therapist, I admit that I myself have experienced this type of behavior in the past. However, over time I became aware of its ineffectiveness. With about twenty years of experience, I analyze every conflict to better understand my role and improve my interactions in the future.
Maya Richard-Craven’s article for US Forbes – translated by Lisa Deleforterie
Editor’s Note: In this article, the author shares lessons learned from her personal experience as well as an interview with organizational wellness expert Dr. Shané P. Teran.
As a former alcoholic myself, I believe it is crucial to recognize the interactive nature of relationships. A book Alcoholics Anonymousalso known as A big book, encourages deep introspection. He teaches that ” acceptance is the answer to all our problems », a lesson that also resonates in the phenomenon of ghosting. When a business contact ignores you, it’s not just a reflection on you. This person may not be able to express their emotions maturely. Personally, abrupt disconnection is a way to preserve my recovery. There was a time when I was an alcoholic that I could drink a bottle of vodka in less than 24 hours. So breaking up with someone can literally be a matter of life and death for me.
Hitting the “block” or “restrict” button on Instagram or other social networks is so easy that we underestimate the emotional effect it can have on the person concerned. So I talked to Dr. Shané P. Teran, an expert in organizational well-being. As Chief Executive Officer SP Consulting Group, LLC and mental health professional for nearly two decades, this Ohio native shares her valuable thoughts on the harmful effects of ghosting in the professional environment.
” The lack of communication is obvious. Nowadays, clarity in communication is key, as well as professionalism, which implies the ability to have difficult conversations, even if they are delicate. “, she said. According to her, deeply traumatized people tend to break contact abruptly. ” People dealing with mental health issues, struggles, or trauma tend to choose ghosting, especially if they don’t actively seek treatment for those issues. “, she emphasized.
Risk to the people concerned
Cutting off all contact with someone without explanation or conversation can have a really negative effect. I have to admit that I have done this myself in the past, but with time and my own personal growth, I realize the role I play in this process, both on the spirit side and on the spirit side. This can affect a person’s mental health, confidence and outlook. Having been in this situation myself, I have learned to understand that the reasons for ghosting are not always related to me; People have work commitments, family commitments, and various other responsibilities that can influence their actions.
The editor once stopped responding to my messages after she gave birth to her first child. In this case, in my opinion, it is not about ghosting. It took him some time to adjust to this new situation and he finally contacted me again. His initial silence was unintentional and had no negative effect on me. However, when someone you have a relationship with, whether professional or personal, decides to abruptly end communication, it does not promote transparency or conflict resolution.
When I was drinking, if someone did something I considered disrespectful, I immediately distanced myself. Now that I’ve somewhat sobered up emotionally, I think twice before cutting off contact with someone. Remember that even if someone has hurt you, belittled you or provoked you in some way, the best approach is to talk about it before making a decision.
Lack of professionalism
Ghosting reveals a lack of character and emotional maturity. Mature people will express their emotions before distancing themselves. Instead of avoiding conflict, consider open communication with people who upset you. Blocking someone suddenly does not benefit you or them. I have blocked people myself in the past, but I realized that an honest discussion would be more constructive.
It is important to recognize that relationships with your friends or business contacts have value. Individuals are not objects that we use and dispose of as we see fit. If you are in therapy and exhibit this behavior, it may be time to reconsider. I personally became aware of my actions and explained why I acted the way I did. Looking back, I deeply regret making impulsive decisions based on my emotions or disappointment.
dr. Teran considers ghosting to be unprofessional behavior. He emphasizes that professionalism includes an awareness of these aspects that are key to establishing and maintaining healthy professional relationships. According to her, not addressing the problem directly may indicate a lack of capacity or skills for constructive communication.
Also read: Recruitment: how to deal with recruiter “ghosts”?